Bruce Lee had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile [Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile]. So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.” I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.” I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.” So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,” –and we’re still running-”if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles. Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?” He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”
Red Eyed Leucistic Reticulated Python Hatchling
It was cold, which made my fingers itch to hold your hand. I crave a sense of love in this white-washed room. The doctor isn’t the nicest. You’d think that in this type of medical area they’d at least smile to reassure everything would be okay.
“Is this your first?”
She didn’t care, it was mandatory to ask.
“Would you like to know what I’m going to do or do you just want me to do it?”
“No, please just get it done with.”
This is wrong. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be. Naomi is having a party in a few hours. I’m supposed to be picking out an outfit to impress the senior boys that will be there. This isn’t right.
“Will it hurt?”
What am I doing?
“No. Give me your arm.”
Ouch. She jams a needle into my already bruised arm. The cold sensation spreads through out my body. It helps numb my head.
To think, just a few months ago I was so happy.
It was as if nothing bad would happen. He made me feel like I had a purpose in life.
“Baby, we’re meant to be. I’ll never leave your side.”
Now here I am, losing my senses. The white room seems to move. I feel the cold again, not in my veins, but between my legs.
“Will it hurt?”
“I already told you, you won’t feel anything. The more questions you ask, the longer it’ll take.”
Someone, help me.
He made me feel special. The days we spent together were always secretive, but that is what made it so much fun. He’d always find ways to prove he wasn’t hiding “us”.
“It’s so much fun to have this as secret, just you and I know.”
“But why can’t you tell your friends? I want to tell everyone about our love.”
He would never answer my questions. It was alright though, we were in love.
“I can feel it, please stop, you’ll hurt her.”
I start crying, this is too much, someone help me.
“You can’t feel a thing, and besides, you don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“Please just stop, I changed my mind.”
“It’s too late, I’m already done. You signed the papers, you got what you wanted.”
I cried and cried. It was like I lost a part of myself. That was my child. I’m a selfish whore.
You thought this would make him come back. Guess what, you’re wrong.
He didn’t even come with me. That’s no surprise.
“What do you mean you’re pregnant? That’s not mine, you’re a whore anyways.”
“You’re the first boy I’ve even slept with and you know that! You can’t leave me by myself to raise our child.”
“We’re done. I don’t want anything to do with a kid, I have everything to look forward to in life and you think you’ll lay someone else’s kid on me? No way.”
It was the first time I knew I didn’t have a purpose.
Kill it, he doesn’t want a kid. Neither do you.
He never did come back. Weeks later he got a new girlfriend. She’s gorgeous. They announced they were dating to practically the whole school. I thought he loved me.